Today is my wedding anniversary. I’ve been married to Jay for 14 years. With today’s divorce rate, that’s kind of a big deal.
I didn’t plan on writing a blog today, but I came across this clip of Dr. Oz on the Larry King Show and I thought to myself, “Dr. Oz, you have no idea just how beneficial medical marijuana is!” It’s such a relief that people like Dr. Oz are doing their homework and admitting they were wrong.
The reason I felt so compelled to write this blog today is because I recognize how different I am now from the person I was 14 years ago on my wedding day. My daughter Samantha, who is 24 and bore witness to those 14 years, was reflecting with me over the weekend about how sick I always used to be. It seemed there was never a day I was 100%. I had issues with digestion, constant back and neck pain, depression, panic and anxiety disorder and even almost died from a gangrene gallbladder. It’s safe to say that Jay married a train wreck! Even my pregnancies were challenging. I always share with people who comment on how well-behaved my kids are that I paid my dues in utero and that’s why I have such well-behaved kids now. Part of me actually believes this. Nowadays, it is rare when I’m not 100%. I have the occasional day or two of not feeling well, but that is definitely no longer the norm and it feels amazing.
I’m sure that a lot of my illnesses were stress related: getting married, moving 30 miles away from my job, remodeling our home, bringing my elderly mother with me and dealing with two of her cancers, dealing with family drama, having two difficult pregnancies, losing my mother to pancreatic cancer, starting a challenging business and duking it out with two business partners could probably short circuit the best of us.
One day, I hit rock bottom and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My rock bottom included a severe dependence on prescription medication and a stint in the hospital as a result. I was addicted to sleeping pills, anti-anxiety medication, anti-depressants, anti-acids for my tummy and so on and so on. I was so addicted to caffeine that I guzzled lots of energy drinks to get through my day. I was a chemical time bomb waiting to explode. The funny things is, I didn’t think I was a drug addict because I was using medications that were prescribed.
Recently, my husband went through a health scare and he immediately took the homeopathic route to health. I can honestly say that I am so impressed by the control he took over his illness with a detox and severe diet change. My husband is definitely not the type of person to go against conventional medicine, so the fact that he took a leap of faith was a big deal to me and the fact that he saw results, I’m sure convinced him to think twice about soley relying on conventional medicine. Bad health always impacts a relationship and I can only imagine what Jay was going through when I was always so sick with no end in sight. I have to admit, going though it with it Jay for just a few months was another “scared straight situation.” We have young children and the thought of them not having a vibrant, energetic dad was heartbreaking and I think he “got it!” I know I got it when I saw how much more energy I had with my kids after getting healthy.
Reading The Emperor Wears No Clothes 8 years ago changed my life. I always say this, but it’s true. It made me question everything. Today, as a result of the healthy lifestyle I’ve adopted, I am the healthiest I’ve ever been. I attribute my attitude to my journey as a hemp activist. While exercise has always been a staple for me, I now exercise to feel good, as opposed to looking good. I also meditate almost every day which I believe is the key to reducing stress. I eat super healthy and I am off all chemicals. I used to be able to pound tequila back in the day and now, I’m lucky if I can finish a beer. I hardly drink any alcohol at all and to many, that may be hard to believe. While my mom was a devout Catholic, I’ve never been interested in religion but today, I know I am very spiritual. I can attribute my mental peace to Marianne Williamson and The Course in Miracles, as well as the heightened spiritual awareness I feel when I do medicate. I can honestly say that I feel I have worked on my self so much these last 14 years, that Jay finally has the wife he deserves.
Nowadays, I defer to more homeopathic remedies and even refer to Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life, to figure out the thought patterns that are causing my ailments. Sounds crazy, but it’s true, your thoughts do affect your wellbeing.
How has all this saved my marriage? First, I married a man who is the most loyal human being on the planet, so off the bat, I will give him credit for that and for not leaving me when I was impossible to live with. Second, Jay’s support for my passion as a hemp activist is quite adorable. He is constantly doing research for me and pushing me towards my goals. Lastly, Jay has witnessed the chemical mess that was me and dealt with me while I titrated off all my meds over an 18 month period. It was not pretty! I know that Jay is grateful I turned my life around. He, and my kids are so happy that I have become who I am today, and guess what? I can attribute it all to the day I picked up Jack Herer’s book.
It has not been an easy journey for my husband and me these last 14 years but I can honestly say that we are stronger and more in love than ever. Thank you Mr. Werner for always, always supporting crazy old me and for not being shy about being married to a hemp activist. You are the perfect man to accompany me on this journey and I really do love you so much. Here’s to many more healthy, loving, peaceful, fun years together.